Dear Guy I Clotheslined As You Went By on Your Bicycle.
"You don't know me, but I'm the guy who broke your collarbone. Now I've asked myself over and over why did I clothesline that guy. Perhaps I watched too much slapstick as a kid and expected you to get up after being violently assaulted. Imagine my confusion when you did not. Although not so confused that I'd actually hang around.
In all fairness, It was pretty funny, I mean the last thing you'd expect as you were riding merrily by on your bike is that someone you didn't know at all would stick out his arm and crush your throat.
I mean, you really should have seen it, It was just like WAM! BAM! (hahaha)
In closing, as you lay there convalescing in your hospital be, I'm forced to wonder 'What were you doing riding your bike on the sidewalk anyway, Huh, ya asshole? side-WALK!
Maybe sometimes we bring heartache upon ourselves.
Signed, the guy that collapsed your trachea."